delo君

1.

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window.

一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?!

老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?

Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

男孩：我!我现在要回家了。

2.

What dog can jump higher than a building?

什么狗比大楼跳的还高?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。

3.

What has a head, a tail, and no body?

什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?

A coin!

硬币。

4.

What has one eye but cannot see?

什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?

A needle.

针。

5.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.

Wife: "What does that mean?"

妻子：那是什么意思?

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

6迪尼斯之旅

　　On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted us wholeheartedly to the attraction. After three exhausting days，we headed for home.

　　佛罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往旅游，我们全身心地沉醉在它的各种奇观之中。筋疲力尽地玩了三天之后，我们要回家了。

　　As we drove away, our son waved and said : "good bye，Mickey.”

　　当我们驱车离开时，儿子挥着手说道:“再见，米奇!”

　　Our daughter waved and said, "goodbye, Minnie.”

　　女儿挥着手说道:“再见，美妮。”

　　My husband waved, rather weakly，and said : "goodbye , money.”

　　丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说道:“再见，美元。”

7生财有道

　　Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.”

　　母亲决定尽可能地减少家务开支，于是她自己洗衣服，而不把衣服送到干洗店去干洗了。母亲很得意自己的节约之道，对父亲自夸道:“弗雷德，你想想，我们又增加了五块钱的积累，因为我自己动手洗的这些衣服。”

　　"Good，”my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!”

　　“好啊!”我父亲立即答道:“那就再洗一遍。”

8祖先

　　The lady was trying to impress those at the party. "My family’s ancestry is very old ,” she said, "it dates back to the days of King John of England.” Then turning to a lady sitting quietly in a corner she asked condescendingly, "How old is your family, my dear?"

　　有一位女士想给参加聚会的人们留下深刻的印象，于是就说道:“我的家族非常古老，它能一直追溯到英王约翰时期。”然后，她转过身对着一位娴静地坐在角落里的女士居高临下地问道:“亲爱的，你们家族有多老?”

　　"Well,” said the woman with a quiet smile，"I can’t really say. All our family records were lost in the flood.”

　　“关于这个，”那位女士淡然一笑，说道:“我也说不清。我们的家族志在诺亚时代的大洪水中丢了。”

9为钟表加油

　　There was a football game on TV last Saturday evening. 'The game was between a Spanish team and an Italian team. I sat in front of the TV at 7 o' clock, when the game just began. An hour later, my wife came to join me. She seemed to be absent-minded while she was watching the game. As the time clock showed one minute, forty一two seconds left in the game, she began cheering enthusiastically, "come on一get going”Since she had never been a football fan，I looked at her in surprise and asked which team she was cheering for. "Neither,” she replied. "I' m cheering the time clock on.”

　　上周六晚上电视上有场足球赛，是西班牙队对意大利队。七点钟，球赛刚刚开始，我就坐到了电视机前。一个小时后，我的妻子也过来和我一起看球。她看的时候仿佛心不在焉。当记时器显示比赛还剩一分四十二秒时，她开始异常的热情起来，“加油，快!”因为她从来就不是个球迷，我吃惊地望着她，问她为哪个球队加油。“哪个也不为，”她答道，“我在给钟表加油。”